"Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick" Kevin Malone, accountant Dunder Miflin
Of Fathers and Son and iPods
A few years ago, I bought my son Murphy an iPod for Christmas. Technology, specifically hand held music devices and cell phones, had advanced so quickly in the last couple of years that I’d fallen a bit behind. So, I foolishly thought that by buying Murphy the iPod we could cross my sea of idiocy together and have some solid father and son bonding time, connecting my...
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The Unbreakable Jessie Diggins
On a ripe June morning at the base of Stratton Mountain in Vermont, Jessie Diggins is squatting down in the dirt and lifting a volleyball-size boulder to her chest. Then the power-packed 5-foot-4-inch Olympic cross country skier suddenly springs up and heaves the rock high into the air like a shot put. No one marks the distance of her throw. No fans are there cheering her on. Diggins is simply grinding...
I took my first strides as a hockey player at Minnehaha Arena, an old-school ice rink in Minneapolis known for its punishing cold temperature and sweeping barrel-truss roof. My dad was right there beside me, his outstretched hands both a lifeline and a parental spatula. After every fall, every flailing wipeout, he would flip me back over and scrape me off the ice. Then he’d dust me off, take my hand, and we’d start all over again...
Parents are the genetic blueprints for their children and, physically, at least, I’m a carbon copy of my family’s patriarch. While my dad is a charming chap with a handsome mug, he’s also built like a keg on legs. Forget about the wry sense of humor and steel-toed work ethic he passed on to me. The true and everlasting inheritance I received from my dad is a stout torso propped up by scrawny chicken legs. What can I say? We’re not the Kennedys...
Todd Smith’s Coolness passed away without grace or dignity at precisely 11:07 a.m. on Nov. 19, 2011. The location of death was a kiosk in the Southdale shopping mall in Edina, Minn., where Smith bought an electric trimmer for nose and ear hair. Smith’s Coolness was 29 years old when it lost its brave battle with Lameness, and is preceded in death by Smith’s long-lost Athletic Ability, Rational Thinking, Rock-hard Abs and Youthful Good Looks...
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